Emo post

This year birthday was a simple affair and funny thing is, I enjoyed it.

I won't deny.

I thought about Terrence.

I wonder if he will remember its my birthday. And that if he does, will he wish me?
I wonder if he remembers last year this is the day he met my parents. The period of time I felt so sure, so sure about him, us and the relationship.

Where he also spent what he could, in fact more than his capacity to buy me a hagen dazs ice cream cake. Because he knows I like it very much. Strangely, after he left me I didn't eat hagen dazs as much. Yeah, I still like it, but somehow I got distracted by strawberry shortcake. ;)

He did sms me, in case you're wondering. I was out for picnic and didn't have any reception. The message came during that time. He messaged me when I was outta reach(not that he knows!).

Somehow, I don't know what to think of it.

He did, it took me a while to know its him. Suddenly his number became so unfamiliar. I deleted his number la ok. I'm one of those wussy who deletes the ex's number for fear of contacting him.

Sometimes I wonder if he knows how I am. XMY believes he reads my blog.

I am very sure he don't.

It seems after a distance apart, you then know you seemed to understand the dear that you thought you never did understood.

I wonder if he does think of me. Because sometimes I do.

I always believe that before accepting an incident that makes you grief, there are 5 phases. Anger, guilt, denial, sad and I-can't-remember-what then finally acceptance.

I got through denial.

Anger perhaps now I am going through. When he sms-ed me saying happy birthday and all the best in whatever I do, I wanted to reply "Thanks, I thought you didn't care anymore."

We always had an arguement on him don't care.

Yeah, women are revengeful.

One of the many reasons he left was because he believed I would find a better guy.

And I know I did.

But somehow, that doesn't stop me from hoping his next girlfriend wouldn't be as "good" as me.

Fuck the nice-ness in me.
I hope he gets a stupid bitch whom WHINES, DIDNT HAVE A MIND ON HER OWN AND DEPENDS ON HIM ALWAYS, FAT AND ALL PIMPLY.

Yeah, women are revengeful.

P/S: Kyenne asked if he was a good guy. He was, from the very bottom of my heart I say. Though there were times he hurt me more than he knows or shit happens with no fault of mine, he makes a good boyfriend. Its just woman, wanting not the best for the ex.